the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My vagina just recognized that song.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
