yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
