Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
