we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize