Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Please don't give away my fajitas
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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