i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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