She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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