I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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