But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
too bad you live with your parents still
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
