zippers are such a cool invention
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
