dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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