I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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