Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize