Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Randomize
