i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
