i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
