Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
