If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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