yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
