Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize