So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
