Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
