you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
