Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
