Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize