i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
