he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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