The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
