When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
