Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
do nipples grow back?
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