there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
sex in a hospital.. check
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
