Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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