forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
high people should be assigned attendants
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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