Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
