I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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