So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
