Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
