why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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