just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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