sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
honey bunches of taint.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
