I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
