i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
