He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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