guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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