What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
