fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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