ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
