I must be too annoying 4 u.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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