This girl is more easily done than said...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
