i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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