6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
