I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize