I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
