he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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