Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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