dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
