I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
