This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
wow bdsm is so cute
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
