I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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